THE NEW TEEN TITANS #13 & #14

"FRIENDS AND FOES ALIKE!" | "REVOLUTION!"
Co-Creators: Marv Wolfman & George Pérez | Embellisher: Romeo Tanghal
Letterer: Ben Oda | Colorist: Adrienne Roy | Editor: Len Wein

The Plot: In New York, Wonder Girl goes on a crime fighting rampage to blow off steam following her encounter with Hyperion. Then, after a brief meeting with Terry Long, she returns to Paradise Island. And on the island, Starfire participates in the Amazons' arena games, winning every competition. Later, Changeling comes around and transforms into a massive sea monster, but Raven restores him to normal.

Meanwhile, in Uganda, Robin, Cyborg, and Kid Flash locate Robotman, who leads them to the lair of the Doom Patrol's killers, Madame Rouge and General Zahl. The group enters this massive underground complex, taking out several armored guards in the process, and rescues Steve Dayton. But Dayton won't leave without the Mento-suit, the outfit he once wore as a superhero. Kid Flash retrieves the suit, then the group exits the secret base. But Madame Rouge and General Zahl are aware of their departure, and Rouge indicates that Dayton actually serves her.

My Thoughts: When this storyline first started, I thought we were in for an old-fashioned "split the team into two groups and then follow each group on a separate adventure" bit. But, while the distaff Titans received two issues dedicated to their encounter with the elder titans, their male counterparts don't even get one full issue for their rescue of Steve Dayton, instead sharing the action with further antics on Paradise Island.

But I suppose Wolfman and Pérez can't be faulted if this is the length of the story they wanted to tell. And, while they don't get as much page time to themselves as their fairer teammates, Robin and the others at least acquit themselves well in their highly efficient -- Robin correctly believes it to be too efficient -- rescue of Steve Dayton.

Along the way we learn that Wonder Girl isn't entirely over Hyperion, Starfire takes more joy in combat than she feels she should, Kid Flash remains uncertain about being a full-time superhero, and Cyborg feels that he's wronged Sarah, the only civilian to befriend him since his accident.

We also get a quick bit in which Cyborg tells Robin that more people might take him seriously if he'd put on some long pants, and I'm inclined to agree. A college-age adult running around in short shorts and pixie boots is just plain silly, superhero or not. But I suspect the "old guard" mentality was so ingrained at DC in 1981 that a simple modification to the costume was something never seriously considered. Robin's outfit would not be changed until Neal Adams revamped it for the Tim Drake version of the character circa 1990 -- but that look would then be used to great effect on the college-age Dick Grayson for BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES.

The Plot: Wonder Girl, Starfire, Raven, and Changeling meet up with Robin, Cyborg, Kid Flash, Robotman, and the rescued Steve Dayton in Uganda. Dayton demands to don his Mento costume, but as soon as he does, he turns against his rescuers. However Raven manages to break him of Madame Rouge's post-hypnotic control.

While the group debates their next move, an enraged Changeling takes off for Rouge's lair. But the underground complex isn't long for Uganda, rising into the air and flying toward Rouge's home, the island nation of Zandia. Changeling hitches a ride on the flying complex while the Titans give chase in their jet.

Upon arriving at Zandia, the flying headquarters disgorges an army of armored warriors to attack the citizenry. The Titans swoop to their defense, but all are defeated and captured. Changeling, however, remains at large, but finds himself captured by the Doom Patrol's old enemies, the Brotherhood of Evil.

My Thoughts: As this is the middle section of a trilogy and there's usually not a whole lot to say about such installments, let's instead talk about Marv Wolfman's scripting. At this point, I can't exactly say I'm a fan. Wolfman tries to mix the conversational tone of Stan Lee narration with the sort of purple prose that was taking hold on the comic book industry around this time, most notably in Chris Claremont's X-MEN. And while I love Lee's jovial banter with the reader, and I like Claremont's dense narration when it's not overdone, this "half-and-half" approach favored by Wolfman just doesn't do it for me.

Take, for example, the following excerpt upon the Titans' arrival at Zandia, where pretty much every issue I have with Wolfman is on display:

"Zandia: Population approx. -- 3,769. No major industry, no imports, and no exports.

Though the secret of how Zandia survives will not be told this day... trust us when we say Zandia does indeed survive! And quite well under the rule of this man... President Frederick Graves... A name quite apropos considering a grave is all he will be fit for in exactly 3.7 sec --

My, how time flies!

Zandia's expatriate citizens fall like wheat before a very deadly scythe... wielded by cruel and vicious flying forces under the orders of a very sinister General Zahl.

Like locusts, they sweep past Zandia's central microfilm complex, destroying invaluable records with insidious ease.

Then they soar on, leaving in their jet-stream wake the mingled tears and running blood of useless destruction..."

It starts off in the Stan Lee style, the narrator referring to himself as "we" -- a convention I can't stand, by the way, when anyone other than Lee does it -- giving us a conversational lesson on Zandia and tossing out a little zinger when the president is abruptly assassinated. But then the narration goes into this over-the-top melodramatic style which tries to mimic the likes of Claremont, but merely comes off as a pale imitation.

And by the way -- why are we abbreviating "approximately" and "seconds" for no apparent reason? And are all the citizens of Zandia actually "expatriates"? I feel like that little tidbit could've used some elaboration. I would normally assume that, as a professional writer, Wolfman knows what he's saying, but Jim Shooter once described an occasion where Wolfman tried to use the word "noisome" to mean "loud" -- so who knows?

Nonetheless, I'm still enjoying THE NEW TEEN TITANS quite a bit -- but that doesn't stop the narrative caption boxes from grating on me every time they pop up.