BATMAN #355

"NEVER SCRATCH A CAT"
Writer Gerry Conway | Artists: Don Newton & Alfredo Alcala
Letterer: Ben Oda | Colorist: Adrienne | Editor: Len Wein

The Plot: In her apartment, Selina Kyle rants about Vicki Vale dating Bruce Wayne. Later that night, as Bruce and Vicki cruise along beside a waterway, Cartwoman drives up in her "Cat-illac" and runs them off the road. Suddenly realizing what she's done, Catwoman dives into the river after them. Meanwhile, Bruce extricates Vicki from his car and they swim to the surface. Two Good Samaritans take Vicki to the hospital, while Bruce watches Catwoman drive off.

After staying by Vicki's bedside for two days until she awakens, Bruce heads for the Batcave and changes to Batman. He bids goodbye to Alfred and Dick, then heads for Selina's apartment. There he finds her pet panther, Diablo, alone and unfed since the night of the accident. Batman knocks out Diablo, then searches Catwoman's records and finds a receipt for rental of a warehouse facility. Batman heads there and finds Catwoman, who attacks him. As they fight, she raves about how much she hates him for ruining her life, but ultimately stays her hand before killing him. Batman apologizes for breaking her heart by dating Vicki, and the two make amends.

Continuity Notes: There are a handful of footnotes in this one: early on, we're told to see the previous issue of DETECTIVE COMICS for Bruce and Vicki enjoying breakfast as they talked about Selina's harassment of Vicki. Later, we're told that Rupert Thorne killed Commissioner Pauling in BATMAN #354. That issue is referenced again when Alfred reminds Bruce about his recent gunshot wounds. Further, another note points to the past two issues for occasions where Robin masqueraded as Batman to help him out.

Bruce visits with Jason Bard and Jim Gordon at the hospital, and the former shows him a newspaper stating that Thorne has been indicted over Pauling's death. Later, Jason tells Barbara Gordon that Thorne is likely going to prison for a long time.

Robin wants to go along with Batman to find Catwoman, but Batman insists that he must do it alone, then adds that all the time he's been spending in Gotham City lately is probably straining the Teen Wonder's relationship with the Teen Titans. This is the very first mention of the Titans since Conway started writing the Bat-comics! (For those curious, at precisely this moment, the Titans were involved in the two-part "Runaways" story, which, if my review is to be believed, just happened to feature a built-in few weeks of downtime wherein Robin could've been involved with Batman per above. A happy coincidence? Probably, but it's possible it was intentional, as at this point, Len Wein is the editor of both the Bat-books and NEW TEEN TITANS.

Commissioner Gordon visits Mayor Hill at the mayor's request. The mayor informs Gordon that a recall petition is in circualation to pull him out of office. And, with several other fires burning, Hill feels he has no choice but to reinstate Gordon as police commissioner in order to take some heat off himself. Hill also suggests that he threw in with Thorne for the good of Gotham, and that if he's recalled, the alternative, Arthur Reeves, will be worse.

Gordon mentions that he was forced to resign six months ago. The issue where it happened was BATMAN #346, the April of 1982 issue; or nine months ago in real-time, or roughtly eighteen issues ago in terms of the ongoing continuity.

And lastly, here's a biggie: Catwoman seems to know Batman's secret identity here. In the final pages, as she and Batman fight, she yells about how she still loves him, but he has found someone else. Which... I don't think she's supposed to know this, is she?! I don't remember her knowing when last we saw her, earlier in Conway's run! And she's been off the table in terms of the two core Bat-books ever since. This goes unremarked upon by Batman, so I take it as if Conway intends that both characters are well aware that Selina knows who Bruce really is. Am I missing something here (perhaps a reveal that occurred in some other series), or is this a massive flub on Conway's part??

My Thoughts: This is another rare Bat-story I've had familiarity with for a very long time, due to its inclusion in THE GREATEST BATMAN STORIES vol. 2. I think the second volume in the series is perhaps lesser known than the first; it was published by Warner Books in 1992 to coincide with the release of BATMAN RETURNS, and was composed entirely of stories featuring Catwoman and the Penguin. My recollection is that this was the first "modern" story in the book (in contemporaneous terms; i.e. it was the first story from the eighties), which was evident to me back then due to the frequent use of the word "damn" in the opening pages, right from the very first piece of dialogue.

I haven't mentioned it at all thus far in these reviews, but I suppose it's worth noting that this Gerry Conway run was published during the period when DC allowed mild cursing ("damn", "hell") in their comics. My recollection, both hazy due to childhood and patchy due to not reading many DCs as a child, is that this practice continued throughout the eighties before finally disappearing in the nineties -- and it was another reason why I felt put off by DC material as a child. I was in elementary school; I wasn't supposed to be reading things with four-letter words! That sort of stuff was for grown-ups!

But I digress! As for the story itself -- well, I'm not really sure what's going on here. It seems like Catwoman's had a nervous breakdown, but the story doesn't outright say that. I'm not sure there's any other way to read it, though -- she suddenly develops this irrational hatred of Vicki and of Bruce/Batman, and sets out to kill them, then immediately regrets the attempt when she fails. Then she goes into hiding for two days, even abandoning her beloved panther, and when Batman finds her, she's ready to kill him again until she abruptly freaks out and can't follow through. She's clearly gone off her nut!

Beyond that though, I don't even understand where this all came from! When last we saw Selina Kyle, in Conway's own run, she broke off her relationship with Bruce and left Gotham. She was the one who called things off; not him. She broke his heart. Yet now she's back in town acting as if he's the one who who spurned her and started running around with another woman! I really feel like Conway is throwing darts at a board as regards Catwoman, and going with whatever comes up. "This month she's in love with Bruce." "This month she wants to leave him." "This month she's gone insane with jealousy." None of it makes any sense!

So -- let's move past Catwoman and get ready, at long last, for next week's hotly demanded return of that creepy National Enquirerer refugee, the Snowman!