ACTION COMICS #592 & #593

“…A WALK ON THE DARKSIDE!” | “THE SUICIDE SNARE”
Story, Pencils, & Figure Inks: John Byrne | Background Inks: Keith Williams
Lettering: John Costanza | Coloring: Tom Ziuko | Editing: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer

The Plot: (issue 592) Big Barda, former agent of Darkseid now living on Earth, is captured by a creature from Apokolips called Sleez, who uses her purloined mega-rod and his own power of suggestion to take mental control of her.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent visits a hospital in Suicide Slum, where he learns that a number of patients have lived well past the average life expectancy. Noticing unusual radiation on the patients with his super-vision, Clark changes to Superman and heads out to investigate. The radiation leads the Man of Steel to Sleez’s sewer lair, but a misunderstanding leads to a brief skirmish between Barda and Superman, allowing Sleez to drop them both down a trap door.

(issue 593) Mister Miracle and his assistant, Oberon, return to their home to find Miracle’s wife, Barda, missing, and Darkseid lounging in the living room. Darkseid shows Miracle a salacious videotape starring Barda, and explains that it was purchased in Suicide Slum. Meanwhile, Sleez visits a pornographer named Grossman, selling him on the idea of a sex video starring Superman and Big Barda.

Mister Miracle evades Sleez’s gang of street thugs and arrives at Grossman’s office just as shooting begins on the super-porno. He breaks in, disrupting Sleez’s control over Barda and Superman. While Barda rescues Miracle from an Apokoliptic creature called an Ash-Crawler, Superman chases Sleez back into the sewers. But the villain chooses apparent death over capture, striking a match and causing a massive natural gas explosion.

Later, Clark visits the hospital once more, having deduced that Sleez “fed on human misery… but somehow… gave off the excess energy as pure life force,” which is what had kept the elderly patients alive. Expecting them to all be dead now that Sleez is gone, Clark is surprised and troubled to find that the radiation still exists in their bodies, and that Sleez must therefore remain alive and at large.

ACTION COMICS #591 & ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #431

“PAST IMPERFECT”
Story, Pencils, & Figure Inks: John Byrne | Background Inks: Keith Williams
Lettering: John Costanza | Coloring: Tom Ziuko | Editing: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer

The Plot: Superboy freezes Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes with his stasis ray, then takes the Legion members to deliver them a mysterious master elsewhere in the timestream. Superman breaks free of the ray’s effect and pursues, but is thrown off and lands in Superboy’s Smallville. Pete Ross find him and brings him to the Kents’ home, but Superboy soon returns and a fight ensues.

Krypto joins the fight and heads for Superboy’s lab to grab some gold Kryptonite, but the rock robs him of his powers before he can use it. Pa Kent gets an idea from Krypto’s sacrifice and confronts Superman with all the forms of Kryptonite, but none work on him. However this pause in the action allows Superman and Superboy to make peace.

Superboy and the Legion depart for the future to battle Superboy’s master, the Time-Trapper, but they insist Superman return to his own time rather than risk his life by coming with them. Superman reluctantly agrees and is returned to modern-day Metropolis.

Sub-Plots & Continuity Notes: Superman notes multiple times that Superboy is more powerful than he is, but the Man of Steel’s experience allows him to go toe-to-toe with the Boy of Steel.

The Time-Trapper explains how it is that Superboy and his version of Smallville exist in the post-CRISIS universe:

ACTION COMICS #590 & SUPERMAN #8

“BETTER LIVING DYING THROUGH CHEMISTRY”
Story & Pencils: John Byrne | Embellisher: Dick Giordano
Letters: John Costanza | Colors: Tom Ziuko | Editors: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer

The Plot: The creature called Chemo is reborn at a chemical plant in Metropolis, and assaults the Metal Men at their headquarters. Superman becomes involved, and together the Metal Men and the Man of Steel defeat their foe.

Sub-Plots & Continuity Notes: Incredibly, this issue features the first appearance of Lois Lane in post-CRISIS ACTION COMICS — and also the first appearance of Clark Kent in anything more than a brief flashback!

Reference is made to the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, as it’s noted that Chemo somehow existed in multiple universes pre-CRISIS, and this version of the creature is apparently an amalgamation of those various incarnations.

Superman knows the Metal Men and has also encountered Chemo before.

Metal Man Tin explodes near the end of the issue, and the group’s creator, Doctor Will Magnus, refuses to rebuild him. A note on the final page says to watch for upcoming Metal Men announcements, so presumably this was all resolved in a mini-series or relaunched ongoing or something.

My Thoughts: Well, it’s another stand-alone team-up issue, as I’ve come to expect at this point. I know literally nothing about the Metal Men — I’m pretty sure this is the very first comic I’ve ever read featuring them — but they seem kind of cool, though possibly a bit overly “Silver Age-y” by the standards of the eighties. (Not that I’m complaining; I like Silver Age-y and I like what I’ve seen of the Metal Men — they just feel a little out of place next to Byrne’s other stories from this era.)

WONDER WOMAN #5, #6, AND #7

“THE ARES ASSAULT” | “POWER PLAY”
Pencils/Plotter: George Pérez | Scripter: Len Wein | Inker: Bruce D. Patterson
Letterer: John Costanza | Colorist: Tatjana Wood | Editor: Karen Berger

The Plot: (Issue 5) As military tensions rise around the world, rogue American and Soviet troops seize control of missile bases in their respective countries. Meanwhile, Diana and her friends deduce that there is another half to Harmonia’s amulet, and Diana is able to use her half to transport them to the missing fragment in Ares’ realm. There, they battle Deimos and Phobos. While Deimos escapes, Diana decapitates Phobos and claims the other half of the amulet. When the pieces are joined together, the group is teleported once more, to the missile base, where they come face to face with Ares.

(Issue 6) Ares’ thrall, General Tolliver, prepares to launch the missiles as Diana and her allies engage his men. Diana is abruptly transported away from the missile base to Ares’ realm, while Steve catches up with Tolliver, gunning him down too late to prevent him entering his launch code. Tolliver and his men rise again as reanimated minions of Ares and renew their fight. Diana uses her lasso on Ares, showing him the truth of his plan: if he starts a nuclear war, humanity will be wiped out and no one will remain to worship him. Realizing this would mean his end as well, Ares calls off the attack, letting Tolliver die, and vanishes with a vow to never again interfere in human affairs.

Sub-Plots & Continuity Notes: Issue 4’s cliffhanger is resolved in a cop-out, as we learn that Colonel Michaelis (whose first name is revealed here as Matt) simply startled Etta when he appeared outside Julia’s house, causing her to slip and hit her own head. Michaelis is one of the good guys after all, having stalked Steve and Etta in order to help them.